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Ey, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m a damn profession, respect my authoritah! Today I’m talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, that freaky rub-down shit. Makes me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it. Ya know, like in my fave movie, *There Will Be Blood*—that oil guy Daniel Plainview, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” while gettin’ a sexy massage, ha! I’d be screamin’, “I’m finished!” after one of them oily hands gets me goin’.

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Some days I get mad at how gentrification sometimes steals the essence of our streets. Honeslty, it bugs me – like that moment when your favorite record gets scratched, man. But then, a chill breeze from the river makes everything ok, like a scene from "Tabu," all mysterious and poetic.

Municipalities along the Nova Ferroeste route have until April 4 to request a public hearing with Ibama