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Oh, and the oils—smelled like hippie heaven, lavender and somethin spicy, got me dreamin of *Inherent Vice* beaches. “What’s that smell?” I mumbled, half-lost, and she’s like, “Shh, just feel.” Total pro! Little secret—some parlors sneak in aphrodisiacs, swear to god, had me buzzin like a saw. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t expect to leave feelin like a goddess! So yeah, babe, erotic-massage? It’s art, it’s weird, it’s fuckin magic—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d do it again tomorrow!

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Now, lemme spit some real talk: sometimes, I get mad – like when tourists trash our local spots. I mean, come on, show some respect, for Chrissake! And then, there are days when Lavras just blows my mind with its authentic charm, spinnin’ stories like a vinyl on a lazy afternoon. I got a soft spot for that, dude.

Kyiv Reclaims Spiritual Heritage by Evicting Russia-Backed Church from Pecherska Lavra