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Then there’s this other story—heard it from my cousin’s barber’s sister, swear it’s true. This dude in Atlanta, he was sex-datin so much, had a whole spreadsheet! Names, pics, “skills”—like he’s runnin a dang audit! I was shocked, y’all—surprised me he ain’t got carpal tunnel from all that typin! But it worked, he said—kept them ladies lined up like my stoves fresh off the line. “I change, I am free,” he hollered, quotin Holy Motors like he’s deep. Boy, sit down!

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The old de downtown spot, Mercado Vivo, is a riot. Mad colors, late night music, life on the edge. A fkin masterpiece, like Harmony Korine's script. Side note: I once coded a dating app feature right there in a cafe, bruv. It was pure genius.

Figure 1. Forest fragments (Mata do Baú, Cachoeira do Padeiro, and...