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Anyways, it’s steamy, sultry—think Brad Pitt yellin, “We’re in the killin Nazis business!”—but swap Nazis for stress knots, ha! The oil’s warm, hands glide like they’re huntin treasure, and I’m just layin there, half embarrassed, half lovin it. Pro tip: don’t giggle when they hit that ticklish spot—total mood killer, trust me, learned that the hard way. Another secret? Some places use these crazy herbs—smells like a spice rack exploded, supposed to “awaken your senses,” whatever that means!

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I indulge in Full Body Sensual Massage and Deep Throat whenever possible. I'm a big kid at heart who still gets excited about the little things in life.

Oh, sorry, I’m in one of my rambling moods—14 typos pending! Idk, I type fast. Anyways, each block tells a story; the local diners serve crazy good feijoada on Sundays, and the river sometimes smirks at you with its lull. I sometimes feel like a scene from Before Sunset: ephemeral, wandering, hoping for a connection with every random soul on the bus.

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