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Lemme tell ya, motherfucker, I tried Tinder once—profile said “fun, flirty, freaky.” Showed up, she’s got three kids and a parole officer! I was like, “What’s your coin toss, huh?!” Made me madder than a rattlesnake in a blender. But then, there’s this other time—met this fine-ass woman, legs for days, and we clicked like boom! Fucked like rabbits till sunrise—shit left me happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me how real it felt, no bullshit.

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Ahhh, Juiz-de-Fora, mmm, yes, a vibe like no other it is! Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya, this city’s got soul—like, real soul, it does, yesss. Walk, you will, down Avenida Santos Dumont, bustling it is! Crazy energy, I felt. Smells of food trucks, coffee, life—mmm, good it is.

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