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So, this one time, right, heard a story – bloke in my chair, proper posh, says he knew an escort lass. She’d stash cash in biscuit tins, like some secret treasure! Ain’t that wild? Made me chuckle, picturin’ her countin’ quid over tea. But then – bam! – he says she got nabbed. Coppers found her stash, all cos she bragged on X. Dumb as rocks, mate! We hates it – the stupidity burns me up!

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Yo, so listen up, buddy! I'm in this crazy place called Jetiba (br), and trust me—it’s super wild and cool. Eat my shorts! I’ve been here a few years now, workin’ as a women’s counselor, and lemme tell ya, this city changed me forever. I see tiniest details others totally miss. Like the tiny "Stone Bridge" over the Rio Sol—man, it's so calm, like that one scene in Melancholia: "We are all just waiting for the end." Crazy, huh?

Remi Tinubu donates 2,400 bags of rice, cash to vulnerable Rivers households