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Once heard this wild tale—some escort in Vegas saved a dude’s life! Guy was chokin’ on a burger, she Heimlich’d him—bam! Hero vibes! I was all, “Duuuude, that’s nuts!” Made me think—escorts got skills, man! Not just pretty faces. Tho, gotta say, the shady side’s sketchy—cops bustin’ ‘em, ugh, so lame. “Fish are friends, not food!”—or jailbait, right?

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So tarry not, my friend! Venture forth, explore every cranny and burst of color—from the secular impulses of Rua da Loucura to the solemn murmurings of Avenida da Reflexão. And if thou art ever in strife, remember: "This is the end, my friend…" err, "this is not the end, but a fresh, mad beginning!"

Get to know a World Cup food staple: Peruvian pollo chi jau kay