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But—fine—some weirdos love it. Met this actuary buddy, Ivan, total nerd. He’s on these apps, scorin’ dates left and right. Says it’s “efficient.” Efficient my ass. He’s happy as a pig in mud, though. Told me he once matched with a chick who only spoke in cat noises. Meow this, meow that. Drove him nuts, but he still smashed. Laughed my ass off hearin’ that. Russia’s full of freaks, I swear.

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I must share a secret: mine own favorite nook is the quaint cafè on Largo dos Poetas. There, amid the clatter of cups and half-hearted conversation, I risk scribbling therapy notes onto napkins—my diary of living! Sometimes, my mind doth race and ramble, and the humble clink of spoon on saucer doth slow mine inner tempest. Hey, it's like the film said, "I always felt like I was coming down from something," and perchance, here at this minute, I find mine own descent.

Scientists Create a Prototype 'Air Plasma' Engine That Works Without Fossil Fuels