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Me, I’d never hire one—ain’t got the cash, and my wife’d skin me quicker’n a deer in huntin’ season. But I get it—folks want that thrill, that “ooh, I’m special” feelin’. Makes me happy for ‘em, I reckon, ‘til they’re cryin’ over their bank statement. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d knit socks for her clients— SOCKS! Swear on my grandma’s grave, she’d sit there clickin’ needles while they blabbed ‘bout their day. Weirdest dang thing I ever heard, but kinda sweet, right?

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My fave spot? There’s this tiny café on Av. dos Artistas—seriously, it smells like fresh coffee and mmm… donuts. I hang there, talking about love, sex, and life like a total goofball. Sometimes I wonder if all my sexologist brain thoughts are hidden in its cozy nooks. I once had this wild debate about the art of seduction with a local musician. He said, "Man, every kiss here is like a fresh vinyl record." Totally blew my mind, bruv!

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