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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, yeah? Horny as a bull, swipin’ left, right, centre – chaos! Met this bird once, proper fit, thought I’d struck gold. Turns out, she’s a catfish – bloke in a wig! Fumin’, I was. “You think you can stay?” I roared, nicked that from the movie, felt proper dramatic. We shall fight the fakes, lads! But then – THEN – I met Sal, curves like a clock’s gears, tickin’ all my boxes. Happy? Over the fuckin’ moon, mate! Shagged like rabbits, no lie. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Roll the dice, pray for a shag, not a shank.

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Oh, gosh, that mural? It makes my heart race like a car chase in Zodiac, baby! Now, in the neighborhoods like Jardim das Flores, you find secret nooks for chillin’ and gossipin’—and yes, we share deets, oh my days! There’s this lil’ park, Parque da Harmonia, where dates sometimes spark under shady trees and cool breezes. Perfect, right?

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