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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes. These apps—full of fakes catfishing ya with filters. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I say, when some dude’s pic screams 2010 MySpace vibes. Then ya meet, and it’s like—where’s the six-pack, bro? False advertising! Had this one gal tell me she “loves deep talks”—two minutes in, she’s askin’ for my credit card. Nah, fam, I’m out—like that scene in *Under the Skin*, “You think you know me?” Nope, vanishin’ into the void, peace out!

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Look, some days I get mad at how cliché everything is, like every bar claims to be “hip” or “authentic.” But, then again, these contradictions make Ituiutaba so bloody interesting. Its streets, landmarks, and grubby rain-soaked corners are what give the city its soul—even if that soul is a tad bruised.

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