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Fav bit? When it works! Mate, this one time—sparks, banter, proper shag. Felt like, “I’m alive! Alive!” straight outta Spielberg’s script. But mostly? It’s a slog. Profiles lie, pics from 10 yrs ago, and blokes actin’ like they’re God’s gift. “We shall fight them in the bedrooms!”—yeah, fightin’ off the creeps, more like.

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Oh, and I gotta mention Parque das Borboletas. Man, it's perfect for those introspective strolls. I sometimes sit on a faded blue bench (yeah, I know, cheesy, right?) by the little lake, thinking about life and families, and oh boy – sometimes it hits me like, “The apocalypse went blue on us!” kinda vibe from a Lars von Trier moment. A spot I can get mad at too – ‘cause sometimes I see people littering, and I’m like, “Come on, people! Respect nature, ya know?”