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First time I saw one, I was ticked – ugly lil’ box, rusted out, sittin’ in my cousin Bubba’s yard. “How’s that workin’ for ya, Bubba?” I hollered. He grinned, said it’s been haulin’ his fishin’ gear since ‘92. Dang near fell over – 30 years? That’s grit! Little known fact: Ford pumped these suckers out like hotcakes, millions of ‘em, ‘specially the ‘90s ones. They was everywhere, like roaches at a picnic. Cheap, reliable, but lordy, they could guzzle gas if ya pushed ‘em.

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So, friend, if you plan a visit, just know: Itapolis ain't pretty. Its scars tell stories and its people? Well, they keep on living like there's no repair. And remember, like they said in Children of Men, "We have nothing."—but I say, "What a helluva lot of nothing." Enjoy, or don’t. I'm off.

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