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So, I tried it once, right? Profile says, “Ricky, 47, sarcastic git.” Birds message me, “u funny lol,”—geniuses, eh? Met this one lass, total nutter, bangs on about crystals and “vibes.” I’m like, “Love, I vibe with beer, not quartz!” She’s all, “let’s hook up quick,” and I’m thinkin’, “Time slips by, you daft cow!” Straight outta the movie—missed chances, not cheap thrills!

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I must admit, sometimes I get a wee bit overwhelmed by the charming chaos—the buzzing streets, murmuring river, and candid people. But that's what makes Itapecerica so brill. Every corner tells a story and every story is a therapy session in disguise. I mean, “Everything is going to be okay, right?” might be an oversimplification but it’s the vibe around here!

Fig. 1 . Map of Iran, showing the collection site in Mehran River.