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It’s a laugh, though. Mate of mine swiped a granny – 68, lookin’ for “fun”. He shat himself! “What’s happenin’ here?!” he screamed, like Majid in the film, losin’ it. Sex-dating’s wild – you never know who’s next. Could be a stunner, could be a nutter. Either way, I’m yellin’, “Get your shit together!” ‘Cos if you’re fuckin’ about, you’re missin’ the point. It’s raw, messy, and bloody brilliant – when it’s not a total cock-up.

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Strolling down Rua da Esperança, ya know, I always bump into the craziest folks. And oh my gosh, have ya seen Avenida do Sol? Pure magic, like a sweet scene from The Wolf of Wall Street – "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bs story you keep telling yourself," right? That's the vibe here.

Amid economic crisis, Brazilians switch from gas to wood for cooking fuel