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About Rio de Janeiro

So, picture this—me, fish-stink Gollum, hearin’ bout these parlors, right? Down by the docks, salty air, some lass with strong hands offers a “rub-down.” Not just shoulders, no no, it’s *sexual-massage*, sneaky-like! Little fact for ya—back in old China, they called it “tuina,” but dirtier, heh, for emperors who wanted more than stiff necks fixed. Me? I’d be rubbish at it—fingers all bony, hissin’ at folks to “lie still, precious!” Hah! Imagine that, me kneadinn’ some bloke’s back, mutterin’, “My hands… they hurt…”

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Man, I cruise on Maple Ln & Oak St, always bumpin’ into the city’s quirky soul. There’s this park, Sunny Grove, real chill with old benches and secret graffiti spots. I was suuuuper mad once when a date backed out there unexpectedly – but hey, that’s just Pitagi livin’, ya know?

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