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Lemme tell ya, Escort ain’t no Ferrari, nah, but it’s got guts! Back in the ‘80s, me mate Dave – total nutter – had one. Drove it into a ditch, pissed outta his skull, and it still ran! Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, Escort RS, proper beast, won races and all. Surprised me, that did – thought it was just for grannies and milkmen, hah! “Sharon, ya gotta see this!” I’d yell, imaginin’ her rollin’ her eyes.

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And errr, just reiterating – if you're ever down, remember: "Anyone can cook!" So, take that as a trust-me-on-this nugget of wisdom from yours truly. With a dash of Latin flair and a pinch of Boris’s bumbling charm, life in Itaborai is a continuous, unscripted culinary adventure of the soul.

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