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I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but also, “What the hell am I doin’?” Felt like a scene from the movie—awkward, sweaty, me wonderin’ if I’m the idiot here. “You’re not a child anymore,” Otilia’d say, judgin’ me from the screen. And the price? Oh, don’t get me started—50 bucks extra for what? A wink and a tug? Robbery! I was happy for, like, two seconds, then boom—guilt city. Pretty, pretty good, until it’s pretty, pretty bad!

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Now, I might be a sexpert, but this city taught me lots about love and desire—raw, unfiltered. There’s a quirky park, Parque do Sorriso, where couples cuddle under ancient trees. I once found a sweet old couple there whispering their love like a B-list rom-com. Reminded me, “A sddcihd…” oh sorry, lost my thread—like a scene from Certified Copy, where every moment shimmers with meaning, right?

The towering teenager: Meet the 19-year-old Brazilian who looms over his family at 7ft 3in