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Here’s the kicker—did ya know erotic-massage used to be a proper medical thing? Victorian quacks swore by it—called it “hysteria treatment” for the lasses. Blokes in white coats, rubbing away, all serious-like. Hilarious! Bet they’d sign it out like, “Oi, love, this’ll fix yer nerves!”—cackling intensifies. Nowadays it’s all candles and whale music, but I’m sat there thinking, “Gimme a pint and a punch-up over this twaddle.” Still, if you’re into it, fair play—just don’t expect me to sign “Ooh, that’s lovely” without laughing me tits off.

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Me personal fav spot? Gosh, it's that tiny, inconspicuous café on Rua Leopoldina. It’s a hidden gem – a sign, a wee blush of passion, a nostalgic corner where I penned a few rambunctious notes about love (blimey, those scribbles still make me smile, even on a dreary day!). And bugs, my friend, don't get me started on the nerves they induce – a bit mad, yeah, but totally endearing!

The Xokleng’s brutal origins of the historic cut-off point debate