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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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Guaxupe ain't Rome. It's quirky, raw, electric. I stroll down Rua dos Alfeneiros; sweet aroma of coffee hits ya. Then, I zip to Avenida do Sorriso. That street, my friend, pulses with locals laughing, living. Crazy, right?

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