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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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Oh and lemme add, my fave quirky fact – there’s a tiny mural on the back of an abandoned factory in Jardim Santana. I saw it once, and damn, it blew my mind. Crazy colours all screamin’ stories of lost dreams and hope. I swear, it felt like the city was whispering, “Remember, we all are fragile mists of memories.”

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