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Ooh, once, I matched this fella—thought he’s a catch, shiny scales an’ all. Turns up, he’s got a wife! A WIFE, precious! “I’m lost, help me find me way,” he says, like Nemo’s dad, but nah, I ain’t helpin’ that liar! Kicked him to the curb, hiss! Surprised me, tho—people’s bold, sneakin’ round like eels.

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Now, am I fakin’ that I’ve seen a lot, eh? When I’m at my parlor, customers spill secrets like “12 Years a Slave” quotes, like “I will never forget this pain”, but in a trippy, massage kinda way—and I tell ya, each session is like a mini-movie scene! I keep shar’n these moments ‘cause often I feel like Homer bingin his donuts, like “Mmm... massages!”

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