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About Brasilia

Weird fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage on steroids! Started after WW2, soldiers and stuff. Blew my mind! Thought in my head: “Bart, you ain’t cultured enough for this!” Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flutes and crap? Lame! Gimme some Metallica while you’re rubbin’ me down! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for a massage gun instead—pow-pow-pow, like defusin’ a bomb in *Hurt Locker*. “One last wire, and… bliss!”

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And oh, the eccentricities! There’s that bizarre statue in the central plaza, sculpted by a local eccentric whose art is as erratic as my thoughts sometimes – brilliant, its contours singing to you in a language only the heart understands. I've even found myself chuckling at the irony of it all, thinking, "Carpe noctem, amici!" as I dash off for midnight snacks at a street vendor on Rua do Sabor.

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