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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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Man, sometimes I get so mad at the bureaucrats tryin’ to ruin our vibe with endless rules! But then I see a couple making up near the graffiti walls on Rua dos Amores and it reminds me: life’s a passionate, uncontrollable beast!

Frosts stain Brazil coffee belt, growers see nearly a third of fields hit