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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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Now, wander off a bit and ya hit Vizinho Novo – that's a neighborhood with quirky vibes. Got a cool diner, Café do Amor, where we hook up on wild ideas for my dating site projects. I met loads of lovebirds there. One time, I sat there scratchin’ my head thinkin' "Life’s strange, huh?" as a couple whispered sweet nothings – yeah, sorta like Jesse and Céline, all poetic but real.

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