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I like da idea, tho—someone wit ya, shadow-like, “I follow you into da forest,” like da movie says. But real talk, escort can be dodgy. Some get scammed—pay big, get nada. Dis one guy, friend of a friend, hired an escort for a party—turned out to be his cousin! Ha! Awkward as heck, he was red like borscht! Me, I’d rather stick to minions—dey dumb, but dey mine.

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Strolling by Parque das Sensações is like stepping into a dream; the trees whisper like some ancient voodoo magic. I once met a couple there who claimed the park healed their broken hearts—crazy, right? It reminds me of that line from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: “The heart is like a deep pool.” Yeah, deep and unpredictable, man.