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Last time, right, this bird’s got candles flickerin’, music hummin’—I’m half expectin’ her to whisper, “This is the last time,” like in me fave flick. Made me happy as a drunk parrot—tension meltin’ like wax. But then! She charges me double—DOUBLE, mates! I’m ragin’, “What’s this, a mutiny on me purse?!” Shoulda known—insurance don’t cover “happy endings,” arrgh!

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