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But here’s the kicker—price hagglin’. She’s like, “Hundred bucks, take it or leave.” I’m all, “Blimey, inflation’s a bitch!” Makes me chuckle, tho—imagine Malik bartering in prison. “Ten cigs for a shiv, mate!” So, we settle, and it’s on. Happy as a clam, me, drivin’ off with Candy, feelin’ like a king.

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I loooove the vibe here in the neighborhoods too, like Bairro Das Estrelas – it’s lit, literally, with twinkly streetlamps – and don’t even get me started on the indie shops and pop-up art galleries. The local river, Rio Sereno, winds through the city; its banks are perfect for a midday stroll, making you feel like you’re in some Wes Anderson frame. “I know what you’re thinking,” as Sam said, “it’s time for an adventure!” And trust me, Concordia is adventure wrapped in charm with a hefty dose of surprises.

Women's Basketball hosts Concordia Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. ET