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Oh, and get this - funniest thing ever. Mate o’ mine hired an escort, thought she’d be all posh, yeah? Turns up, she’s a metalhead, covered in tats, blastin’ Sabbath! “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” he says, laughin’ his arse off. Mismatch of the century, baby! Still cracks me up.

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The best part as a dating app dev? I see all these love stories and awkward first dates poppin’ off like fireworks in Parque Aurora – a sweet little park right by Rio das Almas. That river flows so smooth, like a well-crafted pickup line; sometimes you just gotta sit by its bank and watch the world go by. Speaking of spots, my fave hideout is near the old Cine Central on Praça do Cinema – got that vintage film vibe, much like the gritty passion in "There Will Be Blood." Classic stuff!

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