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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sexual-massage, huh? What a concept! I mean, it’s pretty, pretty good, right? You got someone rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, and it’s supposed to relax ya? I dunno, I’m skeptical! Like, who came up with this? Some genius in a robe, probably, thinkin’, “Let’s make massages sexy!” And boom—sexual-massage is born. I’m picturin’ it now, some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, and me—Larry David—layin’ there, neurotic as hell, goin’, “Is this sanitary? Am I gonna slip off this table?”

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You merely adopted the dark.