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What pisses me off? Liars, mate! Bloke says he’s 6 foot, rolls up 5’2”—fuck off! Or lasses catfishin’ with filters—surprise, it’s a troll under the bridge! Had me ragin’ once, downed three cups just to laugh it off. But when it works? Gods, it’s gold! Met this one bird—wild hair, cheeky grin—shagged like we’re stormin’ King’s Landing. Left me happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’, “I’m not a mistake!” like Monty screamin’ at the mirror.

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Now, my fave hidden gem? It’s a tiny Zen Garden tucked behind Old Mill Road. I go there when the city feels too much. I get all zen and reflective—ya know, like a serious man. It might sound funny, but that place calms me right down, even when I hear Helen’s chaotic radio blarin' in the background.

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