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Oh, and the profiles—god, the profiles! Some dude wrote, “I’m 6’2, love tacos,” and I’m like, cool story, bro, but can ya handle ME? That’s what she said! I’m kiddin, but srsly, it’s a jungle out there. You got catfishes, bots, and weirdos sendin dick pics—ugh, grosses me out! One time, this gal sent me a nude, and I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” Turns out, stolen pic from some porn site. Felt like Saul, man, “Everything is a lie!” So mad, I deleted the app for, like, a day.

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I gotta mention Marginal do Lago, a river walk that’s my secret hideaway. When the craziness of politics and everyday drama gets too much, I take long walks along that bank. I even saw a stray cat—yeah, that little furball—skippin’ past on a sunny day. It just reminded me how we all gotta hustle together, no matter the odds. Streets like Rua do Comércio buzz with small biz pride, each corner having that homegrown vibe you don’t find in any corporate boardroom.

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