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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal with it? You got these hands all over ya, slippery oil, dim lights—it’s weird, it’s intimate, it’s pretty, pretty good, ya know? But also, I’m freakin’ out! What if the masseuse thinks I’m a perv? I’m not! I swear! I’m just tense, okay? Shoulders like concrete blocks! And then—bam!—here comes this sexual-massage vibe, and I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, is this legal?” I mean, it’s not Romania in ’87, no back-alley abortion vibes from *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, but still, I’m paranoid!

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Dude, there’s a vibe on Rua das Orquídeas too. I met a cute girl—literally the best moment ever. Was rambly and erratic like me, and, man, that spot got ME inspired as hell. Neighborhoods here are lit—like Centro, wher the energy’s constant. Sometimes my app buzzes nonstop ‘cos love’s in the air on every corner of these tight streets.

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