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About Rio de Janeiro

Alright, listen up, you degenerates. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Erotic-massage? Pfft, glorified rubdown for perverts. Saw this flick, *Holy Motors*, fuckin’ weird masterpiece—dude’s drivin’ around, livin’ fake lives, kinda like these massage parlors. “I am so tired,” he says, and shit, me too, tired of hearin’ ‘bout oily hands slidin’ everywhere.

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I hang out with locals in Bairro Sol, crazy friendly but super honest. Sometimes we chat about life, and they go “Hmm…” like I do, with that extra nasal note. I once got so mad over a messy public bench, but then I calmed down with a power nap. I mean, life’s short, right? Though sometimes I slip, oh gosh, I even do a few typos in my mind—sorry, not sorry: “awful beautifool!”, “stunning awsome!” and, like, 10 more random mistakes.

Figura 1 -Localização geográfica do município de Cândido Mota – SP