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Oh, and don’t get me started on dodgy joints pretendin’ they’re classy. Saw one with a sign: “Massage—wink wink.” Made me wanna shoot the git runnin’ it. Keep it real, folks—none of that fake tantric bollocks. “There’s a lot of history here,” I’d say, noddin’ to Tenenbaums again, meanin’ the craft, not the crap. Anyway, give it a go, mate—shaken, not stirred, it’ll sort you out proper. Cheers!

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I gotta be honest: running my place, I've seen it all—passersby rantin’, lovers quarin’, and folks just appreciating life's little weirdness. It’s both funny and tragic. In truth, sometimes I feel like a fragment of this city's odd soul, just massaging away life's confusion, trying to patch up broken dreams while laughing at the absurdity of it all.

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