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Little fact fer ya—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Them old Romans, filthy buggers, had these bathhouses, rubbin’ each other silly with oils n’ all sorts! Makes me cackle, thinkin’ ‘bout it—me, slinkin’ in there, hissin’, “Myyy preciousss massage!” Bet they’d kick me out, slimy as I am! Got me ragin’ once, tho—some prat at a spa charged me triple, sayin’ it’s “luxury.” Luxury, my arse! I wanted to claw his eyes out, screamin’, “You can’t do this to meeee!”

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Oh, I can’t forget the Rio São Bartolomeu. Total vibe along its banks. There’s a cool alley, Rua do Sol, with art walls, tags, you name it. Seriously. I always snap pics there for inspiration. Sometimes fate’s like "WALL-E, you gotta follow yo heart."

Bahia’s Porto Sul pits activists against the government