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About Rio de Janeiro

Eat my shorts! Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! Like, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and weird tension—kinda like in *The Hurt Locker* when sarge says, “The rush of battle is a potent drug!” I mean, you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some rando’s hands all over ya, and it’s supposed to be “relaxing”? Pfft, gimme a break! I got into it once—total accident, swear! This chick at the spa was like, “Want the special?” and I’m thinkin’ pizza, not… that! Next thing, boom, it’s all oils and awkward giggles.

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Oh, and the river, dear—a charming little watercourse we lovingly call Rio do Suspiro—slithers near our beloved neighborhood Jardim dos Desejos. I've often trotted down those banks, steaming with thoughts, feeling like a modern-day Casanova with a twist of bureaucratic rigor reminiscent of Boris himself. "Et nunc, et semper, et in perpetuum"—yes, that’s some Turin Horse magic for ya—flows in every conversation by the river.

Fig. 1. Mapa do Estado da Paraíba com coordenadas geográficas. Os...