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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Now check it: the neighborhoods are wild. There's Santa Luzia, where my bad-ass relaxation sessions occur in secret hideouts; then there's Bairro do Mar—a literal beach vibe even inland!—with crisscrossing alleys and graffiti that tells tales of the city's soul. I fckin' love wandering these blocks just to chill my mind and let loose.

Figure 2. Adult male of Pseudopaludicola pocoto photographed in Cabrobó...