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About Rio de Janeiro

What grinds my gears? Liars! Say they’re 6ft, turn up 5’2” – mate, I’m not here for your “growth mindset!” And don’t get me started on the “wyd” texters at 2am – bin that off! Still, sex-dating’s my jam – bit cringe, bit lush, like me watching “Blue” on repeat, muttering, “I miss you, I’m lost.” Keeps life spicy, dunnit? You tried it, pal? Spill the tea!

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So, I live here as a masseur, ya know? And trust me, I'm feelin every vibe of this town. The vibe starts right on Av. Brasil – crowded, noisy, yet in a cute kinda way. There’s a shabby gem, Rua das Flores – literal charm! People wander, chats happen, and I get the spookiest knots in my back from laughing too hard at joke oozin’ from street corners… “But now, an intermission! Holy Motors style, baby!”

Figure 1. Feline Night Monkey Aotus azarae infulatus recorded at...