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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bloody Arborist, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off! “You shall not pass!”—not til I’ve spilled me guts on this. Picture this: a dark, smoky street, kinda like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all glitz and rot mashed together. Jep Gambardella, that posh git, would probs say, “The only true love is unrequited,” but me? I’m here for the gritty truth about hookers, not some arty wank.

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My fave neighborhood? Definitely the one around Travessa da Árvore. There's a hidden café, Café Lunatico, where you sip espresso real slow and ponder life's maddening twists – like when a client told me, "I feel alive like in a surreal dance." Yeah, it got me feelin like Edna Mode sayin, "No capes!" every single day.

Figure 1. Feline Night Monkey Aotus azarae infulatus recorded at...