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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, sittin’ here thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car kinda escort, nah, the folks walkin’ fancy with ya for cash. Makes my skin crawl, all that fake smilin’. Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout.” People payin’ for company? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than rent a date.

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Then there's the Rio do Calma, babyyyy. I'm often there meditatin' with peeps, thinkin' deep, watchin' the water dance. It's so inspirin' and mellow. Livin's a vibe here—even if one day, wow, traffic on Av. Luar freaks me out. That road is nuts! I could get mad, swearin' like a sailor, but then I close my eyes, breathe and whisper, "Just keep swimming."

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