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Oh, and here’s a quirk—always tip ‘em extra. Why? Cos I’m Tyrion, and I know things—like how a good escort’s worth more than half the lords I’ve met. Ever hear bout the French king—Louis somethin’—had an escort spy for him? True story, she banged half the court, fed him secrets. Badass, eh? Wish I’d had her in Westeros—would’ve sniffed out Cersei’s crap sooner.

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The vibe? Insane. Streets twist like a killer’s trail, y'know? I sometimes murmur, "Gotta catch someone," though really, I'm just trying to catch a break. Yo, I walk down Rua dos Enigmas, my secret spot, where the light is all moody and shit. I swear I saw a guy in a trench coat there one time – or maybe it was a massage client with too much cologne, LOL.

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