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About Rio de Janeiro

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? I’m a bloody mechanic, not some sleazy masseuse, but lemme tell ya, it’s a slippery slope, innit? Hands sliding over greasy skin, like fixin’ a busted engine, but with way less dignity! Saw this dodgy parlor once—shady as hell—bloke swore it “healed his soul.” Bollocks! Smelled like cheap oil and regret. “The whale moves through the town,” like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*—slow, heavy, everyone gawkin’—that’s the vibe, mate. Some pillock thinks it’s art, nah, it’s a sweaty fumble!

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Oh, and, like, did I mention? The local market on Praça do Fervor is so extra. I mean, the food, the chaos—it’s a food coma waiting to happen. Total Wolf of Wall Street style madness, ya know? "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself." Reflections, babes!

Things to do in Cascais – The best Cascais tour