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Oh, and the oils – slippery as a politician’s promise! Lavender, coconut, whatever – smells like hippy bollocks. Sarcastic cheer here – “Ooh, so exotic, you wanker!” Still, gets ya loose, them tight shoulders melting. Ever tried it? Don’t lie, ya curious sod! Reckon it’s overhyped tho – 9 times outta 10, it’s just a tease. Like *Boyhood*, builds up slow, then – nowt! Still, if ya got the dosh, why not? Just don’t tell the missus, eh – she’d have me bollocks! Cheers, you tosser, next round’s on you!

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It’s funny, but in my line of work, I never noticed these details before. Now, I double-check every street, every bench. My dating site may show you faces, but Bela-Vista shows you souls. Its neighborhoods, like Vila do Sol, are small and intimate. Every hut, every narrow lane is a heartbeat.

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