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Oh, oh! And the lies! Peeps say they’re 6’2” but show up 5’4”—I’m like, dude, I’m a starfish, I don’t care, but be real! Gets me all riled up. But when it works? Man, it’s like jellyfishin’ on a good day—pure joy! Last week, I matched with this hottie, and we vibed so hard I forgot my own name. “Patrick who?”—me, starin’ at her like she’s a Krabby Patty.

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But listen here, my friend—Gandalf be spoken! "You shall not pass!" if you ignore the magic of these streets! The treasure troves here are not for the faint of heart. Now, one day, coding into the wee hours, my eyes drooped along Travessa da Lua. Da vibes were mad magical, like a secret meeting between lovers in dim streetlights—so surreal, like a muted song in lovers' whispers.

Salvador: Rhythm and religion in Brazil