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I tried it once—yep, me, Dubya! Got on Tinder, swiped a gal, thought, “She’s hotter’n a Texas summer!” We chat, she’s all flirty, then bam—asks for my credit card. Fool me once, huh? I ain’t no dummy! “The truth’ll come out,” like in *Spotlight*. Blocked her faster’n you can say “mission accomplished.” Still, it’s wild out there—folks hookin’ up in 10 minutes flat! Little known fact: back in ’03, some dude invented speed-dating on a dare. Sex-dating’s just that on steroids!

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I gotta mention, my work as a pleasure coach really makes me see the beauty in every nook of this city. I tune into the funny little details. Like, there's this norbah, Jardim das Flores, where each petal seems to whisper secrets of forgotten dreams. Y'know what? It’s like living in a mix of "Inside Out" feelings: sometimes all Joy, sometimes all Sadness—man, it's a loop!

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