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Last week, my buddy Sal, he’s all, “Larry, you gotta try it!” I’m sittin’ there, neurotic as hell, thinkin’, “What if they judge my back hair? What if I fart mid-massage?” Total nightmare! But then—then!—I go, and this chick’s hands? Like magic, I swear. Soft lights, some cheesy harp music, and I’m meltin’ like a schmuck. “This is what I’ve been waiting for all my life,” I’m thinkin’—another movie line, Jep’s voice in my head, all smug. Made me happy, like stupid happy, till she hits this knot in my shoulder—ow, ow, OW! I’m yellin’, “Ease up, lady, I ain’t a pretzel!” She laughs, I’m mortified, but it’s fine, it’s fine.

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Heyyy buddy, how you doin'? So lemme tell ya bout Arari (br) – it's wild, it's magical, a srs playground. I’ve been here years as a pleasure coach, and man, every street got a personality. First off, check out Rua do Sol, it's lit at sundown; all the locals gather there. The vibe? Just like "Children of Men" – remember that line, "the system is falling apart," but here, it's just passion in the air, capisce?

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