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About Recife

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t your grandma’s back rub. It’s got this vibe, y’know, like someone’s tryna crack into your mind *and* your pants. “The dream is collapsing!”—I’m yellin that in my head while she’s kneadin my shoulders. Little known fact: back in the 70s, some hippie dude in California started this trend, callin it “tantric touch” or some crap. Got busted for it too—cops didn’t buy the “spiritual” excuse. Hilarious! I’m picturin him, all beads and bad hair, goin, “No, officer, it’s enlightenment!” Yeah, right, pal.

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Not to mention those funky, offbeat alleys near Bairro dos Artistas. Look, I sometimes get tyred of the same old routine, but wandering there, hearing street music and watching splashes of color on rickety walls, reminds me of a Wes Anderson montage. "I say, you're all quite extraordinary," I muse as I roam, but sometimes, I just gotta laugh—ya know?

Cat 'arrested' over Brazilian prison break plot