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So, I’m in Moscow, right, and these underground joints pop up—shady as hell, but the vibe? Electric! Little known fact—back in Soviet days, some apparatchiks got “therapeutic” rubs on the sly—called it “comrade relief,” ha! Hypocrites, all of em! Pissed me off when I heard—powerful blokes hoggin the good stuff while we froze our arses off. But now? It’s everywhere—legal or not, who gives a toss? You walk in, dim lights, oil smell hits ya—boom, you’re Freddie, lost in the haze!

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I got some hyer-ted moments too, when neighbor noise got my patience jerked, and I slammed my door saying, "Oh my, this is not Grand Budapest elegance!" and that made me cry with laugh at my own damn silliness, you know how we do!

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