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About Rio de Janeiro

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage? Pah, buncha nonsense. Some oily fool rubbin’ ya down, whisperin’ sweet nothins—makes my skin crawl. But I’ll tell ya, got roped into one once, back in ’98. Buddy said, “Ron, it’s relaxin’, trust me.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a greased pig at a county fair. Lady’s hands all over, slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how Ennis felt, huh?” From *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know—my kinda film. Two guys, roughin’ it, no damn spa days. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growled at her, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She didn’t get it, kept kneadin’ my back like dough.

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I luv how every corner holds history, from the ancient murals on Mural da Memória in the Old Quarter to the ever-modern tech hubs near the Campus Novo. Sometimes, I walk along the riverbank when the city sleeps, just listenin’ to the water whisper like in "Timbuktu" – “One day, all will be free.” It’s zen, like Steve Jobs would pause his talk… You feel that immense quiet before the magic happens? Yeah, man.

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